The Chibi Wars
by Aphy
Summary: *updated!* Fourteen Star Wars characters have gone chibi and back to kindergarten! Now kindergarten is complete, as well as Junior High! Will everyone survive Maul's surprise at the grade nine farewell? I think not! ^_^
1. Kindergarten! Chibis Attack!

I do NOT own Star Wars although it'd be cool if I did.  
Director: Aphy  
^__^ I think it has a nice ring to it. Anywho, one with the story of chibi Star Wars characters going to KINDERGARTEN! BOO   
HA HA HA!  
  
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Ms. Perfect took a deep breath, trying to calm herself down. She was so excited about her first day as a kindergarten teacher; her first class was coming in in just a minute! She tapped a foot on the ground and then quickly made sure all the nametags on the snake couch (well, I had one in kindergarten and all it is is one BIIIIIIIIG snake that's like a big pillow and it's long so kids sit on it where their nametags are) were perfect (duh, look at her name).  
  
Suddenly, the front door opened and the thirteen kindergarten students walked in.  
  
"Hello class!" she said happily, making sure her brown skirt was perfect. "Place your things into a cubby with your name on it and sit down where your name is on the cubby."  
  
The students, whom were all less than 3'3", slowly placed their things in their cubbies and sat down on the snake.  
  
Ms. Perfect blinked as she noticed some of the students wearing cloaks and two wearing all black. She coughed and noticed three didn't look really human. She brushed off the thought and smiled, grabbing the list of the students.   
"When I call out your name, you said either 'here' or 'present'." She cleared her throat. "Anakin?"  
  
"Here."  
  
"Padme?"  
  
"Here."  
  
"Obi-Wan?"  
  
"Present."  
  
"Qui-Gon?"  
  
"Present."  
  
"Er, Sidious?"  
  
"Present."  
  
"...Maul?"  
  
A simple grunt.  
  
Ms. Perfect lifted her eyes to look at the one who grunted.  
  
Maul gave her a glare of DEATH with his strange eyes.  
  
Ms. Perfect twitched and smiled slightly, looking down at her list again. "Dooku?"  
  
"Present."  
  
"Luke?"  
  
"Present."  
  
"Leia?"  
  
"Here."  
  
"Han?"  
  
"Here, here!"  
  
"Chewie?"  
  
"UUUUarrrrrrrrrrgh!"  
  
Ms. Perfect blinked and shook her head, staring back down at the list. "Yoda?"  
  
"Present I am."  
  
"And Windu?"  
  
"Present."  
  
"Great! It looks like we have a full class today! Now, it's time where we all get to learn about you," she said and grabbed pieces of paper and pencils from behind her and handed them out. "I'll give you a couple minutes for you to write your name and something you like to do or anything that's on your mind really." She smiled and sat back down at the front, watching them all write.  
  
After a couple minutes went by, Ms. Perfect jumped up and collected the pencils and papers. She sat back down and began to read to the class.  
  
"Hello, my name is Padme. I was once a queen but now I am a senator. Even though I look really beautiful and pretty and perfect, I am actually very strong and can be ruthless."  
  
Padme gave her a sweet smile.  
  
"Interesting Padme," Ms. Perfect said, reading it again. Senator? Queen? Wow, these kids have amazing imaginations!  
  
Padme kept giving her a sweet smile as she began the next one.  
  
"Hi! My name is Anakin and I'm in love with Padme! I'm gonna be the most powerful Jedi EVER and I'm going to marry Padme and live happily ever after!"  
  
Anakin gave Padme a large grin and one to Ms. Perfect as well.  
  
"Very...nice, Anakin."  
  
Anakin smiled proudly.  
  
"Hi, my name is Obi-Wan Kenobi and I am a Jedi Padawan Learner. I was married to a girl named Aphy for awhile and she was nice but it didn't work out. I'm the Padawan of Qui-Gon Jinn."  
  
Obi-Wan just smiled slightly.  
  
Ms. Perfect raised an eyebrow. Married? Did he say Aphy? I hope he doesn't mean THAT Aphy. I'm confused. These kids are obsessed with Star Wars. Crazy, she thought with a shake of her head. Qui-Gon looks really old but he's still 3'2" and FIVE YEARS OLD!  
  
Obi-Wan smiled proudly at Qui-Gon who simply nodded his head in reply.  
  
"Hello, I am Qui-Gon Jinn, Master Jedi and Master of Obi-Wan Kenobi. I like to meditate whenever I can and I like to go for nice walks around the Jedi Temple."  
  
Qui-Gon just nodded his head at Ms. Perfect.  
  
Ms. Perfect coughed and shook her head. He had long grey hair and he was only about five. Long grey hair? Er… She read on.  
  
"Hello pathetic human, I am Sidious. I will soon rule the Galaxy and everyone shall obey me. But in my spare time, I like to sing and dance."  
  
Yoda, Windu, Obi-Wan, and Qui-Gon had to struggle to keep themselves from laughing. They were all wearing brown cloaks and looked like little Jedi.  
  
Ms. Perfect was totally shocked. Yeesh! These kids are crazy! I'm going to go mad when this is all over today! Great, they come tomorrow. She sighed. Do they actually think they're JEDI?!  
  
"Calm down, you must," Yoda said. "Jedi, we are."  
  
Ms. Perfect stared and then slowly read on.   
  
"I am Maul, apprentice of Lord Sidious. I am all powerful and ruthless. I like to grunt."  
  
Snickers echoed around the room.  
  
"Hush, children." Ms. Perfect shook her head and got to the next one.  
  
Maul gave her a wicked grin.  
  
"I am Count Dooku and I have a cool lightsaber handle. I like to drink blood and I used to have sharp, pointy teeth. I once had reeeeeeally long hair where I was a Wizard and I was very powerful and controlled orcs and stuff. I am a Sith Lord."  
  
Sidious chuckled. "Long hair. Girl."  
  
Dooku glared at him and pouted slightly. "Meanie."  
  
Ms. Perfect rolled her eyes. "Calm down, children. We only have a couple more to go and it'll be story time."  
  
"Hi, my name is Luke and I'm a really powerful Jedi. I like to whine and people say it's annoying but they still like me."  
  
Leia punched Luke gently in the shoulder.  
  
"That's not nice, Leia."  
  
Leia shrugged her shoulders.  
  
"Hello I'm Leia and Luke is my twin. I'm a princess and even though I seem totally helpless and innocent and extremely beautiful, I'm powerful in the Force."  
  
"I'm more powerful than you!" Anakin yelled.  
  
Leia glared at Anakin and gave him the finger.  
  
"LEIA!"  
  
Leia blushed and curled up close to Han.  
  
"Hi. I'm Han Solo and I'm one of the best pilots in the UNIVERSE. I really like Leia and I hope she'll marry me in the future. I really like to shoot things."  
  
Han smiled proudly at that.  
  
Ms. Perfect stared down at the scribbles on the paper Chewie had handed in. "I can't read this."  
  
Han jumped up. "I CAN! It says: Hi! I'm Chewie! I'm Han's best friend and I'm really powerful! I can only be killed if a moon falls on top of me!" He smiled proudly again and sat back down.  
  
Ms. Perfect coughed, brushing back her PERFECT brown hair and scratched her PERFECT right cheek.  
  
"Hello, Yoda I am. Powerful, I am. Extremely strong, I am. Kind, I am. Master Jedi I am."  
  
Dooku, Maul, and Sidious all glared at Yoda.  
  
"We have one left; now calm down, children!" she yelled and took a deep breath.  
  
Silence.  
  
"Hello, my name is Mace Windu and I am a very powerful Jedi. I like to meditate. Do you know what they call a quarter-pounder with cheese in Paris?"  
  
Windu smiled at that.  
  
Ms. Perfect stared for a bit at her students and then shook her head. "All right children, actually, you know what? Instead of story time, it's going to be painting time! I'm going to role out a large piece of paper and get out the paints and we're going to finger paint!"  
  
The children all stood up and backed away slowly as Ms. Perfect threw the snake couch to the side and grabbed the big roll of paper. "Don't move from where you're standing, all right?"  
  
The little children all nodded while Maul glared at everyone.  
  
Ms. Perfect managed to roll out the paper and grabbed all the paints, placing them out. "Now grab some paints and start painting the paper!" she exclaimed and sat down on the chair to watch the children go for the paints.  
  
Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan, Yoda, Windu, Padme, Anakin, Han, Chewie, Leia, and Luke all gathered around the paints and started painting the paper with their hands. Sidious, Maul, and Dooku all gathered in a corner and began to whisper softly, looking back at the large group and Ms. Perfect from time to time.  
  
Ms. Perfect hung her head. "Class, I'm going to leave the class for a moment so please just continue whatever you're doing," she said, standing up and left the classroom through the door. She gave a loud sigh once she exited, shut the door, and sat on the ground. These kids are crazy, she thought. What's next? One of them is going to be carrying a lightsaber or something? She stood up slowly and walked down to the bathroom. She washed her face and stared in the mirror at her perfect face for a moment. She took another deep breath and left the bathroom, walking back to the classroom. She pushed open the door and--  
  
Maul ran by her, wielding a double-sided blood red lightsaber, swinging it at Qui-Gon whom had his own single-sided green lightsaber. Obi-Wan was scolding Anakin for some reason, Sidious was having a staring contest with Yoda, Windu was meditating, Padme and Leia were comparing hair styles, Luke was whining about Han taking his paints, Chewie was happily painting the walls and everything else while finally, Dooku was poking Windu, trying to wake him up from meditation.  
  
Ms. Perfect stared at the children and took a look around her room. The walls were painted blue, purple, yellow, orange, red...all the colours of the rainbow! All the chairs were sliced in half by Maul and Qui-Gon; the desks were thrown around the room (how? Ms. Perfect didn't know), all the cubby's were gone and all the food was thrown everywhere. "How could these kids have done that in...in...two minutes?!" she whispered to herself, trying to calm down.  
  
Suddenly, she was tackled to the ground by Maul, who put his lightsaber to her neck.  
  
"Qui-Gon Jinn, if you move any closer, I'll kill her," Maul hissed.  
  
Ms. Perfect's eyes went wide and she finally shrieked, "CHILDREN!"  
  
Silence.  
  
Everyone stopped moving and stood completely still.  
  
Maul jumped off her back and took a few steps back, placing his lightsaber away.  
  
Ms. Perfect stood up. "WHAT DO YOU KIDS THINK YOU'RE DOING?!"  
  
"We were just playing," Qui-Gon answered softly. He began to wave a hand in front of her face. "You will sleep...you will sleep..."  
  
"Qui-Gon! What do you think you're trying to pull?! Go to the corner, NOW!" Ms. Perfect shrieked, pointing.  
  
Qui-Gon placed his lightsaber away, hung his head, and walked to the corner.  
  
"Rest, she needs," Yoda said softly, nodding at Sidious who nodded back. Yoda stood up slowly and walked over to Ms. Perfect, he did. "Sleep."  
  
Ms. Perfect looked down at the smallest student. "Hm?"  
  
"Sleep."  
  
With that, Ms. Perfect fell to the ground asleep.  
  
  
  
Ms. Perfect yawned loudly, sitting up and looked around. The children were no more. Her class was no more either. One of the walls was blown to pieces by who-knows-who and there were burn marks everywhere from the lightsabers. Her eyes went wide as she stood up slowly. The class looked like it went through Hell. Well, it kind of DID in her sense. She looked at a piece of paper on the ground with her name on it and she picked it up. It read,  
  
"We're deeply sorry for whatever we caused you, Ms. Perfect. You were a nice teacher but we didn't like the school. We've left to go to another school. Thank you. And we'll pay for the repair. Signed, your students. (Han wrote it!!!)"  
  
Ms. Perfect screamed and threw the paper into the air. "I HATE KIDS!"  
  
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Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand? What do you think? Was it any good? *blinks* Pleeeeeeeease review! I tried   
to make it funny and I hope I did. But this is only the first chapter. ^_^ In the next chapter, they'll be going into grade one!   
BOO HA HA HA! *snickers and imagines chibi Maul and chibi Qui-Gon running around the room* I think it's funny.  
  
Anywho, I hope you guys liked it. AND I'll only update if I get some reviews. Like I don't mean 100 reviews or something, I just want a little bit of feedback. ^_^ Ja ne! Hope you enjoyed!  
  
~Aphy 


	2. Grade One! What Kind of a Name is SPECI...

I do NOT own Star Wars although it'd be cool if I did.  
Director: Aphy  
FINALLY! They're off to grade 1! Boo ha ha ha!  
(Go see Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers; I loved it ^_^ *then cries* THEY KILLED THE ELF! I won't say his name or I might ruin some stuff. Well, he doesn't have a big part but he DIES! *cries* Ah, GO SEE IT! EXCELLENT MOVIE! *cheers* Aragorn needs to take a shower ^_^)  
  
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The principle raised one of his perfect little brown eyebrows, staring at the thirteen children before him. He coughed. "It says you didn't even complete kindergarten let alone finish a whole day!" he exclaimed, yet his voice was still oddly calm.  
  
Maul resisted the urge to give him the glare and then the finger.  
  
Yoda raised a hand, he did. "We understand the meaning of kindergarten and we are ready to go to grade one we are. Let us, you shall."  
  
The principle nodded, his hair not moving -- not even a tiny bit. "You shall go on to grade one."  
  
[And now...the classrom]  
  
Mrs. Flawless, married to the amazing Mr. Flawless, bounced across the room, her short slightly wavy auburn hair bouncing around as well. She had a smile on her FLAWLESS face and her eyes were a FLAWLESS hazel. She had just gotten the message from the principle, Mr. Know-It-All, of the school, Perfect Children Elementary School, that she was to teach a new grade one class that was brought in. There were thirteen children and she read over their names, slightly amused by a few of them. She had placed their names on the desks in no real order and jumped as she heard the door open. She looked to see thirteen children, some strange and some just...damn weird, walk through the door and vanish into the cloat-room. A yell was heard.  
  
Mrs. Flawless quickly ran on her black shoes and looked into the cloak-room to find a red tattooed child attack a long grey haired child. She stared at them for a moment and then pulled them away from each other. "What has gotten into you two?" she demanded.  
  
The red tattooed one just shrugged and walked out of the cloak-room.  
  
Mrs. Flawless frowned and watched as all the children skipped out of the cloak-room and when she walked out, they were all sitting in a desk each. She cleared her throat and went to the front of the classroom where she sat on a stool, holding a piece of paper. "When I call out your name, you say here. Qui-Gon?"  
  
The grey-haired little child raised a hand. "Here."  
  
"Obi-Wan?"  
  
The little boy with the short brown hair and braid raised a hand. "Here."  
  
"Y-Yoda?"  
  
A cane was raised into the air. "Here, I am."  
  
Mrs. Flawless raised her flawless little eyebrow and continued, "Windu?"  
  
A dark skinned hand was raised into the air by a small dark skinned child. "Yo."  
  
Mrs. Flawless coughed. "Padme?"  
  
A pale hand was raised into the air by an oddly beautiful child. "Here."  
  
"Anakin?"  
  
"Here." No hand raised but Mrs. Flawless picked out the blonde haired boy.  
  
"Han?"  
  
"Hi!" A hand was raised into the air by a cheerful looking brown haired boy.  
  
"Chewie?"  
  
A furry hand was raised into the air. "Grwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaw!"  
  
Mrs. Flawless stared in wonder. Costume? Halloween is months away. She shrugged her shoulders. "Leia?"  
  
"Here." A girl with buns on the sides of her head raised a hand into the air.  
  
"Luke?"  
  
A dirty blonde haired boy raised a hand slightly into the air. "Hello!"  
  
"Maul?"  
  
The red tattooed boy glared at her and grunted.  
  
Mrs. Flawless shivered. "Sidious?"  
  
A person in a black cloak waved a hand slightly. "I am here."  
  
"And Dooku?"  
  
A white haired boy raised a hand into the air. "Here."  
  
Mrs. Flawless shifted her weight on the stool. "Well class, seems like we have a full house today! I'd like to find out a bit about you all before we start with math--"  
  
Suddenly, Mrs. Flawless fell to the ground with a thump, Maul standing behind her with a...frying pan.  
  
"Maul!" Chibi Sidious hissed, jumping up from his desk. "Good job."  
  
Maul gave a proud grin as he stared down at the passed out Mrs. Flawless. "Grade two?"  
  
Yoda sighed, standing up from his desk and using his cane for support. "Reckless, you are," he said with a grunt and a nod. "Go we must. In trouble we will get."  
  
Windu stared and looked at the chibi Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan. "Is Yoda scared about getting in trouble."  
  
"He's running from something that is not even his own problem," Qui-Gon relpied.  
  
"LET'S RECK THIS PLACE!" Han yelled from the top of his desk.  
  
Silence.  
  
Han sighed, sitting back down. "Party-poopers."  
  
Chewie jumped on the top of the desk and suddenly ran out of the classroom.  
  
"CHEWIE!" Han jumped up and quickly ran after him.  
  
Dooku coughed, standing up. "I'm going; I don't want to get in trouble." He nodded his head and grabbed his cloak from the cloak-room, leaving the classroom.  
  
Yoda followed Dooku slowly after with Windu, Qui-Gon, and Obi-Wan hot on his tracks.  
  
Sidious grabbed Maul and ran out of the room.  
  
Luke stood up slowly. "Let's get going, Leia. We should stay with the group; I've heard that some of the grade sixers are bullies and they're really strong and really mean and they like hurting little kids."  
  
Padme gasped as she heard that. "Oh my!"  
  
Anakin raised a fist into the air as he and Padme walked out of the classroom. "I shall keep you saf--" He fell to the ground.  
  
Padme jumped and looked to see someone really tall standing in front of her. "That was mean to do that to Anakin! He's my friend! He's supposed to protect me!"  
  
"Well, it looks like he didn't do too well at protecting you. I'll protect you. I'm some really hot grade six guy who's really strong and knows everything and is really popular," he said. "Come with me if you want to be safe."  
  
Padme giggled. "Okay. I'm Padme."  
  
"I'm Special."  
  
"...but what's your name?"  
  
"That is my name."  
  
"You're Special."  
  
"Yeah. I am Special."  
  
"So that's your name."  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Special?"  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"That's your name? Special?"  
  
"Yes. I am Special."  
  
Padme coughed. "I'm special too."  
  
"No!" Special exclaimed and stomped a foot. "I'M SPECIAL!"  
  
Padme jumped and tripped over Anakin's body. "Ooh-kay, Special. I'm going to go now." She grabbed Anakin's limp hand and started dragging it, running down the hallway to who-knows-where.  
  
"Wait! Padme! I LOVE YOU!" Special ran after just as Luke and Leia exited the classroom.  
  
"So, where to?" Luke asked.  
  
Leia shrugged. "To the principle's office again. We're off to grade two."  
  
"Neat."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
BOOYA! Finally done grade one.  
  
*stares for a moment* Yes, I know it was really short but I was out of weird ideas for the day so that's all I did. Oh well, it was still KINDA funny...right? Right?! RIGHT? RIGHT?! Right. Oh-ke-day. Well, I can't really think of anything else pointless to say. Oh wait, yes I can.  
  
I have some weird idea for grade two but I'm not sure if I'm gonna write it down though. Since Christmas Holidays have arrived, I have time to get at least up to grade three or maybe four up but I doubt it. I don't like to update right after another. I like to wait it out ^__^ More reviews that way. *laughs madly* Anyways, I'm off to go talk MSN for hours on end out of boredom. O_O THERE'S ONLY ONE PERSON ON! ARGH! Ja ne!  
  
~Aphy, the Almighty 


	3. Grade Two! Yay! Short Stories!

I do NOT own Star Wars although it'd be cool if I did.  
Director: Aphy  
So I admit Grade 1 wasn't as funny as Kindergarten but I was just flat out for ideas. I have an idea for Grade 2 thus I'm writing it ^_^ Enjoy.  
  
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Miss Sue (her first name was Mary) made sure she had the floor cleaned, the desks cleaned and all the desks in a semi-circle with the boards cleaned and the blinds open so there was light. She had extremely long beautiful straight blonde hair with crystal blue eyes; she was around 5'7" with a perfect face and perfect figure and perfect everything. She was even more perfect than Ms. Perfect herself. Miss Sue smiled proudly to herself and sat at the front for a moment, going over the names. "This is going to be fun," she said to herself and looked over to see the door open with thirteen little people walk in. "Hello class!" she said in her perfect musical voice. "Now hurry up and place your things away in the cloak-room and we'll being."  
  
The thirteen students quickly dropped off their things in the cloak-room and came out, picking desks at random to sit in. The dark ones to the left, neutral in the middle, and light to the right.  
  
"I'm Miss Sue, your Grade two teacher for the rest of the year," she began. "I'm going to call ou--"  
  
"Can we just get on with the class today? It's really pointless to call out our names because you know we're all here," Anakin quickly said. "We can wear name-tags."  
  
Miss Sue smiled. "Good idea!" She jumped from her chair and handed out neat little perfectly cut pieces of paper that were glued on the back and pens to each person. "Write down your names quickly and we'll start with our first class." She walked slowly by as the children wrote down their names onto the paper and placed them on their clothes. Well, except the one named Chewie who placed it on his...er...fur. She collected the pens and walked back to the front. "Our first class today is English where we'll be writing short stories. You all know how to write, do you not?"  
  
All the students nodded.  
  
Miss Sue clapped her hands together. "Excellent! Now," she started handing out normal size perfectly cut paper with perfectly sharpened pencils, "we're going to write short stories. I'll explain the basics and then you can use your own imaginations to start writing. We'll then read them to the class and see how you did." She went to the front of the board and took a black marker and proceeded to write on the white board with perfect writing. She explained the usage of "" and , and . and ! and ? and ; and : and & and ( and ) and # and @ and ' and when to start new paragraphs and all those other things grade two students really didn't have to know until they were older. "Now begin!"  
  
Miss Sue sat at the front as she watched the students write extremely fast and finally, after about a half an hour, they were all complete. "Okay! Good job class. Now, who would like to go first with reading their story?"  
  
A hand was raised.  
  
Miss Sue looked at the nametag without squinting since her sight was better than perfect. "Maul."  
  
Chibi Maul jumped from his seat and a grin appeared on his face, showing he didn't really like the dentist and had a fear of toothbrushes. He cleared his throat and began in a deeeeeeeeeeeeeep, daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaark voice, "There once was a Sith Lord named Darth Maul who was all-powerful and wise. He lived on a planet with tons of babes surrounding him."  
  
Silence.  
  
(A/N: Hehe, Maul said babes ^_^)  
  
He continued, "But one day, his perfect life was shattered by a Jedi Knight named Obi-Wan Kenobi."  
  
"Shattered is an excellent word usage Maul!" Miss Sue exclaimed. "Good job!"  
  
Maul blinked and wondered why Miss Sue was still alive and continued, "Darth Maul and Obi-Wan Kenobi got into a big battle and the babes became scared and ran away! That got Darth Maul mad! So he said, 'Obi-Wan Kenobi, you made all my babes run away!' And Obi-Wan replied said, 'Yeah? So? They're going to be all mine now!'"  
  
Chibi Obi-Wan Kenobi stared for a moment and blushed madly as Qui-Gon Jinn gave him a look.  
  
"'You're mean! I will kill you!' Darth Maul said and suddenly blinked, causing Obi-Wan Kenobi to explode and die. All the babes came back and hugged Darth Maul. The End." Maul cleared his throat and sat back down.  
  
Miss Sue blinked. "Babes? Well, Maul, that was very...er...good. Who would like to read next?"  
  
Another hand shot into the air.  
  
"All right, Han, you can go next."  
  
Chibi Han grinned down at Leia and stood up. "Once upon a time, there was a beautiful princess named Leia and a handsome prince named Han. They didn't know each other but when they first met, they fell in love. They got married and had three children, a set of twins, boy and girl, and a boy. (A/N: Hah ^_^). After that, they lived happily ever after. THE END!"  
  
Miss Sue frowned. "That was just a little too short Han but it was still VERY good!" She smiled. "Who wants to read next?"  
  
A hand snot into the air.  
  
"Qui-Gon."  
  
Qui-Gon stood up onto his chair and cleared his throat. "A long long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away, there was a powerful Jedi Master named Qui-Gon Jinn. He and his Padawan, Obi-Wan Kenobi, were some of the strongest Jedi in the Universe but --"  
  
Suddenly, out of the blue, a package of pencil crayons shot out, hitting Qui-Gon in the head and knocking him out.  
  
Miss Sue gasped and shot up in her chair.  
  
Qui-Gon groaned and sat up, rubbing his head. Suddenly, out flew a shoe and hit him in the head. "OW! HONESTLY! WHAT KIND OF A PERSON THROWS HIS SHOE?!" He jumped up to see Maul standing with only ONE shoe on. He glared at him and dashed out, tackling him to the ground.  
  
"No! Children, stop this!" Miss Sue reached forward and pulled Maul and Qui-Gon apart. "Go to the office, NOW!"  
  
Maul snarled at the teacher and then left the classroom, Qui-Gon following slowly behind.  
  
Miss Sue coughed and went back to the front of the class. "You know what class? We're going to start our math lesson now." She began to ramble on about adding and subtracting and then handed out a worksheet for each student.  
  
They all finished fairly soon and then Miss Sue called out the answers.  
  
They got everything wrong.  
  
Miss Sue went to explain adding and subtracting again. She handed out more sheets and called out the answers again.  
  
They got everything wrong...again.  
  
Miss Sue hung her head. She began to explain it more in depth and passed out sheets.  
  
This time, they got all the answers correct.   
  
But then Miss Sue found out that they were actually putting down GUESSES instead of doing the actual work; they just wanted to finish so they could get outside for recess. Finally, class was OVER and out the children ran.  
  
Miss Sue sat the front, her head hung. "Wow, these kids are harder to take care of than I expected." She then waited until the children came back...they didn't...even after the bell rang so she went out to find the children. She went outside and found the eleven chibi children standing with their heads hung. "What's wrong, children? Why didn't you come in? The bell rang."  
  
Obi-Wan shrugged his shoulders. "Qui-Gon is gone."  
  
"Where did he go?"  
  
Obi-Wan shrugged. "Some men in black came and took him away; as well as Maul. The men in black took them both away. They said they'd be back for us too."  
  
Miss Sue gasped. "Men in black? Did they have anything? Like badges?"  
  
Windu nodded. "One of them had one that said NSA and the other had one that said CIA. They said they knew who we really were and they were going to send us back to where we came from." He shivered at the thought. "I don't want to go back there."  
  
Yoda hit Windu on the head. "Fool, you are. Be quiet about the secret, you must."  
  
"Secret? What secret?" Miss Sue asked, confused.  
  
Sidious gave Dooku a look and the two rushed back into the school.  
  
Obi-Wan looked at Anakin. "You are now my Padawan."  
  
Yoda hit Obi-Wan. "Fool, you are. Padawan you still are."  
  
Obi-Wan blinked.  
  
"Jedi Knight you now are."  
  
"Anakin, NOW you are my Padawan." Obi-Wan, Anakin, Windu, Yoda, and Padme rushed back into the school.  
  
Chewie yelled out in frustration and stomped his feet.  
  
Han patted him. "It's okay, buddy. I won't let those weird men in black take you away." Luke, Leia, Han, and Chewie then went into the school, leaving Miss Sue alone for a little bit.  
  
"What secret? What men in black? What's going on? Why am I so confused?" She then gasped. "Am I...stressed?!" She gasped louder. "I'M STRESSED!" With that, she fainted.  
  
  
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I don't think that was funny. *whines* I THINK I'VE LOST MY FUNNY SONG! *is in pain* THE HORROR! THE HORROR! I'm meelting..meeeelting. *melts away*  
  
...o_o  
  
Sorry, but I couldn't find this chapter funny for some reason. Except the part where Maul said babes. ^_^ *snickers* I think that was funny. But everything else was sad. Oh, and those men in black? I sent them... *shifty eyes* Shh. Don't tell anyone. They said they'd leave me alone if they found others to go after. *hides* APHY WAS NEVER HERE!  
  
~Aphy the Almighty  
  
P.S. MERRY CHRISTMAS! Remember: It's not about the presents! It's about Jesus! ^_^ 


	4. Grade Three! HA HA! TENNIS!

I do NOT own Star Wars although it'd be cool if I did.  
Director: Aphy with help from Chewie  
-_-;; I'm totally out of ideas right now. *sighs heavily* APHY'S OUT OF IDEAS!? *gasp and faints* I NEED IDEAS! And anyways, I don't think Grade 3 is funny. *sighs* Aphy lost her funnybone. *cries*  
  
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After an hour of introducing, getting settled, and organizied, Mr. Cliché's grade 3 class had finally settled down in the gym area. They were ready to start playing a game of tennis thus Mr. Cliché told the students to sit along the sides as he got organizied. He started with putting up the tennis nets.  
  
Maul snickered to himself, pulling out a mini-Sith sling shot.  
  
Luke looked over and gasped but his mouth was covered by Sidious. He pouted and watched as Maul tapped Chewie on the shoulder, asking him something.  
  
Chewie took some of his loose fur, putting it in a ball and handed it to Maul.  
  
Maul snickered again and used the dark side of the Force upon the ball, making it hard as a rock. Harder actually. He put it in the sling shot and aimed at Mr. Cliché and...  
  
"OW!" Mr. Cliché stood up straight, rubbing his lower back and turned to face the children, all of whom were looking extremely innocent. He glared at each of them and shook his head. He finished getting the nets up and went into a room in the gym, gathering the supplies needed. He handed out a racket to each er, person, and then split them into partners. Qui-Gon and Maul were partnered up and sent to the far right end with a tennis ball. Dooku and Windu were paired up and send next over to Qui-Gon and Maul with a tennis ball of their own. Next, Yoda and Sidious were partnered up and sent off to the far left side with a tennis ball. Next, Obi-Wan and Padme were set up and sent off towards Yoda and Sidious with their own tennis ball.  
  
Anakin whined. "Why can I be with Padme?"  
  
Mr. Cliché shook his head. "Sorry, Anakin, but that's the way it is."  
  
Anakin glared at him and he suddenly started to choke. Anakin's eyes went wide and he jumped back as Mr. Cliché went back to normal slowly. He snickered evilly to himself and hunched his shoulders, tapping his fingers together. "Excellent."  
  
Han and Chewie were partnered up with Han's constant asking and sent off towards Dooku and Windu with their own tennis ball. Luke and Leia were partnered up and sent off to the left beside Obi-Wan and Padme, leaving Anakin in silence.  
  
"Who do I go with?" he asked Mr. Cliché.  
  
Mr. Cliché gave him a smile, adjusting his brown wig. (A/N: Whooo, he's from an old thought for a story; Mr. Cliché, the Evil Mastermind. Actually, his name was Mr. Kliché, the Evil RUSSIAN Mastermind and arch-nemesis of Generic Super Action Hero!). "We have a new student. His name is..."  
  
"Boba Fett." A chibi Boba Fett walked into the gym with a gun hanging on his side, dressed in dull green armour. He looked at Mr. Cliché for a moment and then to Anakin. "Let's play tennis." He had the look of BOUNTY HUNTER all over him.  
  
Anakin blinked and watched as Mr. Cliché handed Boba Fett a tennis racket. "I'm Anakin," he said, going under the net to the other side with the tennis ball. "I've never met a bounty hunter before; how are you doing today?"  
  
Chibi Fett glared at him for a moment. "Just hit the ball."  
  
"Fine." Anakin bounced the ball once and before anyone else started, he hit the ball lightly and it when flying towards Fett who held up his racket to hit it but stared as the tennis ball stopped, moved to the right, and flew off. Anakin cheered. "One point for me!"  
  
"HEY! No Force tricks!" Fett yelled in protest. "NOT FAIR!"  
  
Mr. Cliché stared for a moment and grabbed the ball, tossing it to Fett to try. Probably a string, he thought. Yeah, must have been a string oddly enough. I don't know. Whatever. Whatever just happened, happened. He nodded his head and watched as the other students began to join in.  
  
Leia tossed the ball into the air and then hit it as hard as she could, it zooming right towards Luke before he could blink. Therefore, it hit him in the head and he fell over. She covered her mouth to keep herself from laughing and she rushed over towards him. "Sorry Luke," she said in an overly-sweet-apologetic-but-I-think-it's-really-funny tone.  
  
Luke sighed, standing up. "You'd think I'd be able to stop it," he grumbled and waited as Leia walked back over to her side of the court.  
  
Qui-Gon bounced the ball a couple times and tossed it over to Maul. "You can serve first."  
  
The Chibi Maul grinned and then tossed the ball into the air and hit it SO hard, it looked like it was on fire. He watched as Qui-Gon used his Force reflexes to counter with hitting the ball but...the ball just kept going...THROUGH the racket.  
  
Qui-Gon jumped to the side, letting the ball fly through his racket and right into the wall.  
  
Mr. Cliché coughed, staring at the wall. "Impressive."  
  
Meanwhile, Obi-Wan and Padme were hitting the ball gently until the ball stopped in mid-air before Padme and then hit her smack-dab in the head.  
  
"OW! OBI-WAN! THAT HURT!" she screamed, banging her feet on the ground.  
  
Obi-Wan blinked. "But I didn't do that." He looked over to Sidious who was snickering to himself.  
  
"Padme!" Anakin gasped and threw his racket down, dashing over to Padme. He helped her up and left the gym, leaving Mr. Cliché a bit baffled.  
  
Obi-Wan frowned and walked over to the Chibi Fett where he started playing.  
  
Han and Chewie where hitting the ball back and forth at pretty fast speeds. They were the best tennis players yet.  
  
Moving on to the next duo, Dooku and Windu looked like they were having some kind of tournament. They jumped back and forth frantically to hit the ball, using Force tricks to make the other fumble or miss the ball. Neither coul--  
  
"HEY!" Windu yelled out as he fell flat on his face.  
  
Dooku blinked and looked over to see Sidious snickering. He snickered to himself and threw the tennis ball at Windu.  
  
Finally, before Sidious could turn his attention back to the game, he fell flat on his face and the tennis ball bounced on his head. On the other side of the net, Yoda was snickering madly and walking away back to Mr. Cliché who was calling everyone. "All right, class, I er, guess this class is finished...wonderful class...very...VERY...wonderful." He managed to clean up the gym, make sure everyone was all right and lead them back to the classroom.  
  
For the next two hours, Mr. Cliché somehow managed to keep the kids quiet and start teaching. He taught about math...  
  
Maul threw a tennis ball.  
  
Qui-Gon told Obi-Wan to (gasp) shut up.  
  
Padme and Anakin...cuddled.  
  
Leia hit Luke upside the head for whining.  
  
Mr. Cliché yelled.  
  
After math was over, and it didn't turn out too well, Mr. Cliché began to teach english. That didn't go well either...  
  
Sidious shocked everyone with lightning and made Mr. Cliché's fake hair fly off. Ha ha, he wears a wig.  
  
Obi-Wan and Maul had a VERY intense staring contest.  
  
Padme and Leia compared hair styles.  
  
Chewie sang a song...which made no sense to anyone but Han.  
  
Han acted like he was drunk.  
  
Fett took out his gun to shoot Yoda but realized it was only a water gun.  
  
Windu kicked Fett.  
  
Mr. Cliché yelled...again.  
  
Soon after that, lunch began. And that's when it all started...  
  
"FOOD FIGHT!"  
  
Of course, food was thrown.  
  
Padme had a pie in her face, Leia had a couple tomatoes in her face and the two dashed under the tables to safetly. Fett had joined Sidious, Maul, and Dooku and began throwing cheeseburgers. Han placed Chewie in front of him who simply opened his mouth and ate all the cheeseburgers. Anakin and Obi-Wan began throwing random pieces of pie and fists of mashed potatoes, knocking Sidious to the ground. Qui-Gon shoved Luke underneath the table because he felt like it. Yoda and Windu simply kept eating, the food bouncing off an inch before it touched them.  
  
Mr. Cliché walked in and...  
  
"WHAT ARE YOU KIDS DOING?!" he screamed, pulling off his wig in maddness. "YOU'RE RIPPING THIS CLASS APART!" He screamed again and ran out of the class, pulling out the rest of his hair.  
  
With that, the kids left snickering to themselves, ready to go onto grade 4. 


	5. Grade Four! Quickly begins and quickly ...

I do NOT own Star Wars although it'd be cool if I did.  
Director: Aphy with help from Chewie and Han  
Trust me, this ISN'T long. I had NO idea but I just put this down. Meh, probably not funny but I had to get this outta my system. I NEED IDEAS! *cries*  
BUT I MUST SAY SOMETHING! *takes deep breath* I thank EVERYONE who has reviewed! Or anyone who has read it! I'm glad you people are liking this and sorry for my slow updates but it's going to be like this for a while ^_^ THANK YOU AGAIN! I LOVE YOU ALL!  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Before Anakin, Padme, Obi-Wan, Qui-Gon, Sidious, Maul, Dooku, Luke, Leia, Han, Chewie, Yoda, Windu, and Fett could open their mouths to say hello to their grade four teacher, Mr. McSmart-Ass, looked over to them and gasped.  
  
"The...DEVIL CHILDREN!" he said and his thick black rimmed glasses fell down his nose and a scream escaped from his mouth.  
  
Dooku, Maul, Sidious, and Fett all snickered evilly to themselves as they watched Mr. McSmart-Ass start screaming louder, his knees shaking.  
  
Yoda stepped forward towards his teacher and literally JUMPED when Mr. McSmart-Ass looked up frantically and ran out screaming. "Scared of us, he is," he said with a nod of his head.  
  
"You know, this whole school thing is getting easier and easier and I keep getting shorter and shorter," Han commented with a frown. He sighed, shaking his head. "What do we do now anyways?"  
  
"GRADE FIVE!"  
  
And they we off. 


	6. Grade Five! Cooking Cookies!

I do NOT own Star Wars although it'd be cool if I did.  
Director: Aphy with help from Chewie and Han and Agent X of course.  
  
Oh, if anyone has any ideas for any of the grades, please e-mail me at aphy_theoneandonly@hotmail.com  
I'm in the need for ideas a LOT. You'll get credit if I use your idea. ^_^ Thanks!  
  
I don't know how they're now in grade 5 and still under 4 feet tall. ^^;; Oh well, it's all good, right?  
*hands out freshly made chocolate-chip cookies* Ahhh, these are SO good. Enjoy! (And thanks for all the reviews, guys! I LOVE YOU ALL!)  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Anakin, Padme, Obi-Wan, Qui-Gon, Sidious, Maul, Dooku, Luke, Leia, Han, Chewie, Yoda, Windu, and Fett sat in their desks quietly as they watched their new Grade 5 teacher, Miss Cookie, took a seat at the front and took out the list of names.  
  
Miss Cookie had black coloured hair which reached down past her shoulders with chocolate coloured skin and deep brown eyes. She smiled brightly and looked down at the list, holding it up and clearing her voice. "All right, Anakin?" she said slowly. Even though she didn't show it, she was scared of these kids. She had heard the stories about them. She shivered at the thought.  
  
"Here."  
  
"Padme?"  
  
"Here."  
  
"Obi-Wan?"  
  
"Present."  
  
"Qui-Gon?"  
  
"Present."  
  
"Sidious?"  
  
"I am here you pathetic form of a teacher."  
  
Miss Cookie stared at the cloaked figure who said that. She opened her mouth to say something but closed it and grabbed a cookie from the plate beside her. "Maul?" she asked and took a bit of the cookie.  
  
A grunt.  
  
Miss Cookie raised an eyebrow as she stuffed the rest of the cookie into her mouth. She wasn't skinny like Miss Perfect or Mrs Flawless. She was a little on the plump side. More like a Good Year Blimp.  
  
Maul shifted his red eyes and gave Miss Cookie a grin, showing his non-brushed teeth.  
  
Wow, that ... thing hasn't seen a toothbrush in his life, she thought. "Dooku?"  
  
"I am here."  
  
"Luke?"  
  
"Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeere," came a whine-like voice.  
  
Miss Cookie smiled and started on another cookie. "Leia?"  
  
"Here!"  
  
"Han?"  
  
"Here, here!"  
  
"Chewie?"  
  
"Rooooooooooooooagrrrrrrrrrrgh!"  
  
Miss Cookie blinked and started staring. He needs a hair-cut. NOW. "Yoda?"  
  
"Hm, here I am."  
  
"Windu?"  
  
"Here."  
  
"And Fett?"  
  
There was something like a hiss and then, "here."  
  
Miss Cookie looked around the room and noted the dark-cloth-wearing students were to one side and the lighter-cloth-wearing students were to the other side. She gave them a smile and stood up from her chair. "All right class, today we'll be starting with cooking class today. Now if we all stand up," --she stood up and smiled-- "line up at the door and we'll be on our way to the cooking room."  
  
The more or less GOOD students jumped up and raced to the door where they lined up quietly.  
  
The BAD students jumped up then and ran to the door, standing behind the other students.  
  
Miss Cookie led them out of the classroom, after she turned off the lights, and down the hallway. She opened a door and pushed the door open to reveal three tables with stoves, cabinets, and many other various cooking stuff. "I would like you all to sit four to a table, with six at one table."  
  
The class dashed to the tables and sat down. On the first table were Sidious, Maul, Dooku, and Fett (obviously). On the second table were Obi-Wan, Qui-Gon, Yoda, and Windu as well as Anakin and Padme. At the third table sat Luke, Leia, Han, and Chewie.  
  
Miss Cookie walked to the front of the room and grabbed a book, opening it up to a page. She quickly left the room and came back before the students could do anything and handed out instructions to all the tables. "We'll be making, of course, chocolate chip cookies!"  
  
Miss Cookie walked back to the front of the class and began handing out the ingredients needed for the cookies. Finally, when she was done, "time to cook!" She walked back to the front of the class and sat down.  
  
Maul, Sidious, Fett, and Dooku lowered their voices and began to speak over the ingredients.  
  
Obi-Wan, Qui-Gon, Yoda, and Windu and Anakin and Padme all began looking over the ingredients and started to split up the duties.  
  
Luke, Leia, Han, and Chewie were sitting and thinking until Leia jumped up and took lead of the whole group, setting them off with duties (girl power!).  
  
After twenty minutes of Maul throwing flour into the air, Chewie stuffing the chocolate chips into his mouth, Padme and Leia using the flour as blush, they were finally finished.  
  
DING!  
  
The groups rushed to the ovens and pulled out their cookies. They placed them on the counters and let them cool.  
  
Miss Cookie was presently in the washroom so the groups arranged their cookies on separate plates and placed them at the front. The group of Sidious, Maul, Dooku, and Fett placed their evil shaped cookies on a black plate while the group of Obi-Wan, Qui-Gon, Yoda, and Windu, Anakin, and Padme placed their lightsaber shaped cookies on a white plate and the final group of Luke, Leia, Han, and Chewie placed their X-Wing shaped cookies on a beige plate.  
  
The groups placed their names below the plates and then snuck out of the classroom before Miss Cookie could come back.  
  
  
--Later--  
  
Miss Cookie opened her mouth as she entered the room and paused as she noticed the class had left. She blinked and walked to the front of the room where the three plates were and a note. She picked it up and read, "Thank you, Miss Cookie, for the cooking lesson but that is all we need to know so we went on to grade six. Do not ask how we do it but we do; we are smarter than you think. Enjoy the cookies."  
  
Miss Cookie sighed and smiled. She placed the note down on the table. "All the other teachers said those children were from Hell but they were perfect!" She picked up a X-Wing shaped cookie and tried it. Her eyes lit up. She smiled and finished the cookie and picked up a lightsaber cookie. She took a bite and then quickly finished it. The X-Wing and lightsaber cookies were EXCELLENT and she had one more to try.  
  
Miss Cookie frowned at the evil-looking cookies and slowly picked up a bat cookie. She paused and blinked. "Hey, wait a minute, these smell like ... propane." [a/n: O_O cool ^_^]  
  
Miss Cookie gasped as she heard someone light a match in the background, then an evil sounding snicker and a loud BOOM!  
  
The fire drill rang and the water sprinklers turned on.  
  
Miss Cookie sat on the ground, her hair sprayed back like a bullet and black marks on her face. She coughed and fell backwards, revealing Maul snickering in the background and left with a bottle of gun-powder and a few pieces of string with a bag of apples. Ah, how much fun the grade six teacher would have. 


	7. Grade Six! Sidious' Diary found?

I do NOT own Star Wars although it'd be cool if I did.  
Director: Aphy and help from the random drunk person (which is most likely Colin Farrell ^_^)   
  
Oh, if anyone has any ideas for any of the grades, please e-mail me at aphy_theoneandonly@hotmail.com  
I'm in the need for ideas a LOT. You'll get credit if I use your idea. Thanks peoples! AND, a note, to anyone who doesn't know what chibi means, it's Japanese for small. I guess I should have said that earlier, huh?   
  
Thanks to ALL my reviewers. I love you guys SO much. *nods* You guys don't know how great you are. ^^ *hands out money and other nice things* Thanks again! And does anyone else get the joke about Mr. Token Black?   
  
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Anakin, Padme, Obi-Wan, Qui-Gon, Sidious, Maul, Dooku, Luke, Leia, Han, Chewie, Yoda, Windu, and Fett all shifted in their seats silently as they watched Mr. Black, their grade six teacher for an amazing two days thus far, - who was dark skinned and had dark brown eyes and shoft, back hair while his first name was Token - write down on the board. Finally, he moved away and smiled at his class. His teeth were pefectly white and it made the students think if they placed him against a black board with his eyes closed and he only smiled, you could only see his teeth. "Read the instructions on the board and then line up at the door," he said and sat down on the stool in the front of the class.   
  
The instructions read:   
  
1.) Read these instructions.  
2.) Be quiet as you do so.  
3.) No explosions.  
4.) We will go the library.  
5.) You will take out a book and NOT a movie.  
6.) No hurting others in the library.  
7.) Be quiet in the library.  
8.) We will come back here once everyone has a book.  
9.) Take out piece of paper and pen.  
10.) Silently begin to read.  
11.) When I say so, stop reading.  
12.) Follow my instructions then.  
13.) Have a nice day.  
  
  
Qui-Gon frowned at some of the overly obvious instructions. He sighed and then like the others, he stood up from his desk and stood by the door beside the 'good' students.   
  
Mr. Black led the students out of the classroom and down the hallway towards the extremely large library - for an elementary school, books like WAR AND PEACE weren't needed very much since half the students couldn't read that high yet the library had almost every book written by man.   
  
The group of fourteen students entered the library and quickly split up in search of a book of their own.   
  
Anakin wandered over to the weapons section - which was an odd section for a elementary school library but then again, the library had almost every book ever penned - and began looking at the books about swords, particually SWORDS AND PODS.   
  
Padme and Leia had wandered near the beauty product books. Padme began to look at FUNKY AND NEW HAIRSTYLES while Leia flipped through the pages of the BRAID THAT HAIR! book.   
  
Obi-Wan made his way over with Qui-Gon to the section of Body and Mind. Obi-Wan began to look through a book called PSYCHIC POWERS AND YOU as Qui-Gon picked up a book about meditating, MEDITATING [a/n: yay! meditating is fun!].   
  
Meanwhile...   
  
"...it also says here that a man named McGuyver has the ability to use things like a pin, a piece of lint, and a piece of cloth to make a bomb," Dooku read, holding a book with the title TELEVISION SHOW HEROES on it. Little did they know that McGuyver wasn't a real person.   
  
"We need to find this ... McGuyver and turn him to the dark side," Sidious hissed, grabbing a book about WORLD DOMINATION.   
  
Maul was snickering to himself as he opened a book about EXPLOSIVES 101 and then slipped the book into his cloak to keep it for himself. [a/n: sorry guys, I really see Maul as a terrorizing kid :D but don't we all?]   
  
Fett tipped his hat slightly in Maul's direction for no reason and looked back down to his book called ASSASSINATIONS.   
  
Meanwhile...   
  
"Interesting, this is," Yoda commented, holding up a book called LITTLE GREEN MEN to Windu who was looking at a book called HOW TO GET YOUR GROOVE BACK, MAN. "Think considered one of them, I am?"   
  
Windu frowned at the book and looked up to Yoda. "I do not know, Master Yoda."   
  
Yoda, pretty much the same size as he was normally before he suddenly became chibi, frowned as well and continued to read.   
  
Meanwhile...er...elsewhere in the library...   
  
Luke was holding a book called SECRETS TO GETTING ANYTHING YOU WANT in the psychology secion with a smile on his face while Chewie was staring at a book with BIG FOOT on the front of it in the 'conspiracy' section [a/n: why doesn't my library have one of those?!]. And finally, Han was wandering around the library, not able to find anything until ...   
  
"...Sidious' Secret Diary?"   
  
Han's mouth dropped open and a loud gasp escaped his mouth, causing various students to go, "SHHHHHHHHHHH!" He shrunk slightly - although we're not sure how because he's small enough already - and then finally, Mr. Black called the students to go back to the room. He smiled to himself proudly at finding the book and joined the rest of his friends at the door.   
  
"What'd you get?" Luke asked.   
  
Han shrugged his shoulders and held the book close, making sure to keep it to himself. "Just a random book about flying."   
  
Luke smiled and then spun around to ask the others.   
  
Mr. Black led the students from the library back to the classroom (but you'd think that grade six students would be able to go the library and back by themselves, right?). The students sat back down in their desks and opened their books to read.   
  
Silence.   
  
Han opened the book quietly and began reading the first page.   
  
_Dear Diary,   
  
Today was a bad day. I was in my room with the music from Riverdance playing. I was dancing on the floor with my tap shoes on and it was all going food until I tripped over a random cord on the ground. I landed on my back in pain. IT HURT! I'M AN OLD MAN - well, not THAT old but my back is very fragile.   
  
Besides that, the food was poisoned at dinner tonight. I got a stomach ache. Painful.   
  
Note to self: never let Maul cook again.   
  
Yours truly,  
Sidious._   
  
Han's mouth dropped open slightly as he read it. He then smiled to himself and began to snicker softly, causing Leia to stare at him. He shook his head at her and she went back to reading.   
  
_Dear Diary,   
  
Today was a good day! Guess what?! There's a Talent Show coming nearby! I was thinking of entering myself; I found out Dooku was going to enter himself. I'm going to dance and sing a little while Dooku said he's going to do some magic tricks. There are prized for first, second, and third and a little something for fourth.   
  
I will be first.   
  
Dooku can be second.   
  
Maul is also entering himself. He said he's going to do something with food. That's gotten me worried but oh well; only the stupid people will eat it and get sick. I shall laugh.   
  
Maul can be third.   
  
We will win.   
  
Your truly,  
Sidious._   
  
The class passed quickly as Han managed to read through at least another forty entries when Mr. Black spoke up suddenly, "students! Please look at the board for the new instructions!"   
  
The students looked up and there was a new set of instructions on the board. They read:   
  
1.) On the top of your paper, write the title and author of your book.  
2.) Under that, write how many pages you wrote (i.e. Pages 1-24)  
3.) Write a short summary of what you read.  
4.) Write a favourite quote from one of the pages you read.  
5.) Put your name at the top right hand corner.  
6.) Hand it in.  
7.) Be quiet.  
8.) Read on until I give more instructions.  
  
  
Talking began to echo through the classroom as the students began writing and talking with their neighbours.   
  
Leia leaned over towards Han. "What book did you get?" she asked, eyeing the book he was holding.   
  
Han shifted his eyes and then lowered his voice, "it's not really a book, Leia. It's Sidious' diary. I don't know why it was in the library but it was there! I have it here!"   
  
Leia's eyes went wide and she slapped a hand over her mouth.   
  
Everyone looked over to Leia and Han, staring in confusion and wonder.   
  
Suddenly, Sidious stood up from his desk and walked over. He sensed something from Han. "What book are you reading?" he asked, his voice soft and oddly gentle.   
  
Han looked away and didn't reply.   
  
Of course, not being an adult, Sidious jumped at Han, trying to grab the book. "GIVE IT TO ME!"   
  
"NO!"   
  
"YES!"   
  
"NO!"   
  
"YES!"   
  
"NO!"   
  
"YES!"   
  
"NO!"   
  
"YES!"   
  
"NEVER!"   
  
Oddly enough, Sidious managed to finally get the book away from Han and fell onto the floor. He smiled as he stood up. "There's something about this book and I will find out rig--" His eyes went wide. "My d-diary! HOW DID THIS GET HERE?! I'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR THIS!" With that, he darted out of the room.   
  
Mr. Black jumped up from his chair to run after Sidious but tripped over Maul's foot, falling to the ground.   
  
Maul placed a cookie in his mouth and gave him a childish grin.   
  
Everyone stared for a quiet second and then left the room as Maul walked to the door and threw a match.   
  
**BOOM!**   
  
They were off to a junior high school, which was actually right across the street. Grade seven, and they hadn't learned anything yet. 


	8. Grade Seven! ROCK ON EVERYONE!

I do NOT own Star Wars although it'd be cool if I did.  
Director: Aphy with various people with accents   
  
Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy, oh boy, oh boy ... I'm so sorry. *sigh* I've just been so busy lately with lots of homework and projects and other things like Open House and band stuff yadda, yadda. *sighs again* AND I also haven't had many ideas. But I think I got one now. Eh, it probably isn't funny but at least I got this chapter up.   
  
Anywho, I love all you reviewers! I broke 100 reviews! I LOVE YOU ALL! *jumps out and hugs people and then hands out cookies* I wonder if my brother has ever even TRIED to read this O_o he DOES read Star Wars fics but never reviews ^_^ *wonders and goes to work on IABC*   
  
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Anakin, Padme, Obi-Wan, Qui-Gon, Sidious, Maul, Dooku, Luke, Leia, Han, Chewie, Yoda, Windu, and Fett sat quietly - oddly enough - on the large yellow bus as the teacher stood up and cleared her voice. The other grade seven students fell into silence as the teacher, Miss Rita Chapter, raised her hand, "Students! We have arrived at the Music Museum! Now please, do not break anything while you are in there. You may talk and pick up some of the things which ONLY have a sign that say, 'You can pick up'. Do you all understand?"   
  
"Yes Miss Chapter!" came a loud reply and with that, all the students jumped out of their seats and rushed off the bus, shoving Miss Chapter into a bus seat as they did.   
  
Of course, like any junior high students, they all split up into groups and rushed into the museum; they even passed by the lady who was to ask where they were from. There were three classes of grade sevens and out of ALL of them, the Chibis - as they were nicknamed (but GEEKS was another popular nickname for them as well) - were the smallest [no duh]. They had all learned to really ignore the other students and luckily, the Chibis had been placed into all the same class yet none of them arrived with a report card. How strange. Isn't it strange? It's strange.   
  
The Chibis entered the museum and immediately began to wander around; they had never seen such a weird place in their lives. Maul skipped along and stopped as he came to something with strings - a guitar - and pulled it off the wall. Above it was, 'THIS IS THE GUITAR OF ELVIS HIMSELF. DO NOT TOUCH.', yet Maul either didn't care or couldn't read it. He began fiddling with it until with his long nails, he brushed the strings and gasp, they made a sound!   
  
"Hey, that was kind of cool," Anakin said, reaching out to grab the guitar but Maul jumped back before he could. He pouted.   
  
Padme placed a hand on his shoulder and pointed across the room to another guitar. "Use that one, Anakin."   
  
Anakin smiled brightly and ran over to grab the other guitar; above this guitar said, 'THIS IS THE GUITAR OF JIMI HENDRIX. DO NOT TOUCH', but like Maul, he either didn't see it or couldn't read it because he pulled it right off the wall and began to fool around with it.   
  
People walking by began to gasp and rushed off while others gasped but stopped to watch.   
  
Anakin began to finally get the hang of the guitar just as Maul did so they began to duel, in a sense.   
  
Han, feeling left out, spun around on his heels until he noticed something. An accordion but of course, he didn't know WHAT the heck that was but he grabbed it off the wall; above it, it read, 'THIS IS DREW CAREY'S ACORODION. DO NOT TOUCH!'. He frowned and began to try it out until somehow - no one will EVER know - he got the hang of it and joined in on the duel.   
  
For three Chibis who had never seen these things in their lives, they didn't sound half bad.   
  
Chewie, wanting to join in with Han, reached to the wall to grab the nearest thing. He pulled off the wall a ... PIANO! Well, he IS Chewie; above from where the piano had been 'placed' was a sign that read, 'THIS PAINO WAS PLAYED BY MANY FAMOUS COMPOSERS LIKE MOZART. DO NOT PULL OFF WALL.' He placed it down beside where Han was playing and began to play something of a nice beat, joining the others.   
  
Mace Windu, frowning, wanting to shut the others up, and used the Force to grab something. He had grabbed ... A BARITONE SAXOPHONE! From where he had grabbed it, a sign read, 'THIS SAXOPHONE WAS USED BY BLEEDING GUMS MURPHY IN THE SIMPSONS. DO NOT PLAY.' He immediately began playing with the others, enjoying himself.   
  
Luke sighed and then looked to his side, noticing something silver and shiny! He quickly grabbed it and began playing. Little did he know ... it was a flute!   
  
"LUKE! IT'S HORRIBLE! IT SOUNDS LIKE YOUR WHINING!"   
  
Luke looked over to Leia who was yelling at him. He stopped and sniffed and then quickly tried again but THIS time, he actually starting playing well.   
  
Little did the Chibis know, a group of people was gathering and they seemed to be enjoying the music being played live. [Isn't it weird that no guards have stopped them yet?]   
  
Fett snarled underneath his helmet and grabbed a nice, golden Trombone from the wall and began playing. 'THIS TROMBONE WAS PLAYED IN BENNY GOODMAN'S BAND. ONLY PLAY IF BENNY GOODMAN IS AROUND.' He seemed a little off-key at first until Qui-Gon had grabbed a trombone - also from Benny Goodman's band - and began playing with him. How they played so well, no one will EVER know.   
  
Obi-Wan wandered over to a wall and grabbed a nice, black guitar off of the wall and began fiddling with it. Unlike the other two, it was a Bass Gutair played by some random Bass Guitar player. 'THIS BASS GUITAR WAS PLAYED BY A RANDOM BASS GUITAR PLAYER. DO NOT TOUCH.' He shrugged and then quickly joined in on the duel, helping create a little bit of lower and deeper sound.   
  
Yoda floated over to some large with various piece to it where he sat down and picked up to sticks. They were ... drums. 'THESE DRUMS WERE PLAYED BY ROGER TAYLOR OF QUEEN. DO NOT TOUCH IF NOT ROGER.' Yoda tapped the sticks together; noticed Dooku had nothing, and grabbed something at random. He threw it over to Dooku who caught it -- it was a triangle! Yoda began to suddenly smash on the drums, creating a beat to the duel while Dooku began 'dinging' the triangle at random beats.   
  
Padme, Sidious, and Leia all watched for a moment and suddenly grabbed microphones and began to sing their hearts out.   
  
The crowd of people watched as the Chibis played, tapping their feet and cheering for them.   
  
It was all fine and dandy until suddenly...   
  
"ALL RIGHT! SHOWS OVER!"   
  
The Chibis stopped playing their instruments and looked over to a group of guards standing before them. They all dropped their instruments and got ready to fight with the guards but before any of them could do anything, the guard standing in the front grabbed a microphone and cleared his throat. The other three guards grabbed microphones and cleared their throats. Suddenly, without warning, they all began to sing ... like an acapella. They were singing the theme to the Brady Bunch.   
  
The Chibis listened for a bit and slowly backed away and rushed out of the doors, leaving Maul behind. He snickered as the guards were almost finished and then handed them each a cookie. He grinned, handed them all a cigar and rushed out. JUST as he exited, the whole placed went KABLAMO!   
  
The Chibis watched as people rushed out, their hair on fire or their feet on fire. Either one.   
  
They all smiled at each other - even though they hated each other ... you know - and walked off and got onto the bus. They told the driver to leave because the others wouldn't be coming and after just one short month, they were off to grade eight. 


	9. Grade Eight! Band Trip! WOHO!

I do NOT own Star Wars although it'd be cool if I did.  
Director: Aphy with more accent-people helping (I love people with accents; don't you?)   
  
Thank you EVERYONE for all the reviews! *squeals* ^_^ I love you all and you know it. *hands out various kinds of cookies and good marks on tests/exams*   
  
Well, after a lot of thought and annoyance, I finally updated the Chibi Wars. Amazing, ne? O_o Yeah, sorry, I haven't updated for a while *looks* okay, I haven't updated since March. So SUE me. I'm sorry, really, I am but I've been busy and I haven't had time to right let alone have any bloody ideas. Now I'm begging you, if you have any spiffy ideas for grade nine, tell me. If I use it, I'll hug you and kiss you and bury you in your favourite food. Or just give you your object of affection (ie. Legolas or something Oo). THANK YOU! ^_^   
  
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Band. Everyone loved band. Who didn't love band? Band was fun. Playing instruments was fun. But even better than band was the Band Trip!   
  
"SETTLE DOWN!" the music teacher, Mr Bee Sharp - his mother was a little bit of a bee lover -, yelled at the top of his lungs from the front of the bus. He took a deep breath, watching the grade eight and nine students settle down. The worst of all, of course, were settled all the way in the back; they were the Chibis. He turned his attention back to the front of the bus were scenery of mountains passed by.   
  
"This is going to be great," Leia whispered to Padme who nodded in agreement. "We get to go to a beach after we play at this next school! Can you believe it? A _beach_!"   
  
The two girls squealed in excitement.   
  
Maul jumped up and down in the back seat, the one closest to the bathroom. The bathroom was never used because everyone was afraid Maul would throw in a cookie and a match while they were in there. So the bus smelt clean or as clean as a band bus could be. He sneered at everyone who glanced at him; even the grade niners were afraid of him.   
  
Mr Sharp stood up as the bus turned a corner and came to a halt, causing him to go flying forwards.   
  
Everyone laughed.   
  
Mr Sharp stood up and slowly made his way up the stairs back to his front seat. "aHEM. We have arrived at the final school for the trip; I expect this to be our best preformance since this is ... our final one! First, as always, we will unload the bus and then we'll take everything into the school. Just follow the person in front of you and you'll find the gym."   
  
With that, all the students jumped from their chairs and rushed down the middle aisle to the stairs where they exited the bus. They took their instruments as quickly as they could and rushed up the sidewalk to the school entrance.   
  
The instruments were as follows (for the Chibis):  
Anakin played the baritone.  
Padme played the alto saxaphone.  
Obi-Wan played the clarinet.  
Qui-Gon played the tenor saxaphone.  
Sidious played the flute.  
Maul played the drums.  
Dooku played the trombone.  
Luke played the oboe.  
Leia played the piano.  
Han played the trumpet.  
Chewie played the triangle and crash cymbals [tee-hee].  
Yoda played the tuba.  
Windu played the barry sax and bass guitar (for jazz band).  
And Fett played the bass clarinet.   
  
They all loved their instruments very dearly. Especially Maul.   
  
After setting up in the gym - with screams, a few cookie exploding, and a flying hamster - the elementary students began to file in loudly. They all sat down where their teachers told them to and hushed as Mr Sharp walked to the front of the band. "Hello Blue Feather Elementary School! My name is Mr. Bee Sharp and this is my grade eight and nine honour AND jazz band...s! We are from Junior ... Chibi High School." He paused for a minute to cough as the Chibis snickered loudly. "We have been on this band trip for the past two days and this is our final stop where we will play various songs for you to listen. Along the way, I shall explain to you each instrument and what it does and..." He rambled on and on, visibly boring the students to death until he finally stopped and started up the band.   
  
The first song they - as in the honour band - were playing was called Colonel Bogey [curses to that song!]. After they played that, the kids clapped, and they played more songs. They had played a few Lord of the Rings songs, Yellow Submarine, Smoke on the Water, and Phantom of the Opera to name a few. After more clapping, the jazz band split from the honour band and began to set up.   
  
"This is our prized jazz band," Mr Sharp explained, "and they'll be playing some songs for you today!"   
  
Maul tapped his drum sticks together for a few moments, almost breaking them until Mr Sharp began waving his hands about. The band started out with the Hawaii Five-0 theme song. As usual, the kids clapped, and they moved on to their next songs. They also played Mr Papi, Take Five, Street Beat, Down by the Riverside, and Georgia Swing ... to name a few. Like before, the students clapped. One of the students came up to Mr Sharp and handed him a pen for a thank you (pfft, what a thank you!). They clapped again.   
  
After cleaning up, the students rushed to the bus, awaiting the trip to the beach.   
  
Maul threw some of his cookies to the front of the bus; Luke whined; Leia and Padme compared bathing suits; Anakin spoke with Obi and Qui-Gon about random things like striped lightsabers; Sidious and Dooku compared their fingernails; Han and Chewie played darts on the back of someones chair; Yoda and Windu levitated while talking about 'royales with cheese'; Fett snuck around, shooting people between the eyes with a Nerf gun.   
  
FINALLY, to Mr Sharp's happiness, they had arrived at the beach...   
  
The students exited the bus quicker than someone could say, 'spiff!', and ran down the sidewalk to the sand where they laid out their towels and such.   
  
Padme and Leia sat down underneath their umbrellas and began talking about their love lifes - as in Han and Anakin. And they STILL didn't know that they were mother and daughter; pfft, kind of slow, don't you think?   
  
Anakin, Obi-Wan, Han, Luke, and Chewie instantly ran towards the water where they dived in and began swimming around, dunking each other at random. Of course, Luke had almost drowned because Han kept him under the water too long [A/N: Now now, I like Luke but it's always fun to do that to people ^_^].   
  
The sun moved across the sky slowly and was at least now two hours away to settling down. What that means, in easier terms, is that a few hours went by and amazingly, nothing horrible happened--   
  
"SHARK!"   
  
--well, until now.   
  
Everyone scrambled out of the water, the women/girls screaming and the boys/men taking deep breaths out of shock. They all stared at the moving water to see a large fin appear close to the shore. The water around the fin turned red.   
  
"I don't think it's a shark," Han mumbled as Leia hung onto his arm.   
  
"Then go see," Leia said in reply.   
  
Han's eyes went wide. "I uh, gotta go to the bathroom." He laughed nervously and then ran off.   
  
Anakin frowned at the water and waved a hand. "Probably dead or something; look! it's barely even moving!"   
  
The fin darted from side to side.   
  
Anakin yelped.   
  
"Waiiiiiit a minute!" Padme said with a snap of her fingers. "Where's Maul in all of this?" People gasped and began looking around for signs of Maul but couldn't find any. "Maybe he was eaten by the shark."   
  
A few people smiled at that.   
  
Suddenly, the fin - shark, whatever - leaped out of the water causing everyone to scream and landed on the shore.   
  
It was...   
  
...Maul.   
  
There was silence as everyone stared at Maul.   
  
"Okay, so if that was a joke, why was the water red around you?" Dooku asked with a raised eyebrow.   
  
Maul opened his mouth for a moment and shut it.   
  
Everyone slowly began to realize and then laughter echoed loudly throughout the beach, causing Maul's eyes to go wide. At that moment, he knew why the water had gone red. His eyes went wider as he held up a hand to stare at it; it was ... still red. He raised an eyebrow, confused on why everyone was laughing. "Waiiiit." His skin was red ... but he _did_ had tattoos. He gasped and screamed, running out of sight.   
  
Maul's tattoos had dissolved - somehow - in the water, causing it to go red.   
  
Tip of the day: never go to Tattoos-R-Us on Coruscant; they're cheap. 


	10. Grade Nine! FAREWELL CHIBIS!

I do NOT own Star Wars although it'd be cool if I did.  
Director: Aphy with Mulder and accent-people on the side   
  
Since it's the summer (and a month in already), I've finally gotten time to write and post up! YAY APHY! ^_^ I was at summer school (for CALM) but I'm free now to write. I hope to at least get up two or three chapters but who knows, this is me we're talking about. **And the principle in the story, Mr. Duck Fodge, has a very interesting name. If someone can guess what his name REALLY is (it has to do with the letters), put it in your review and you'll be in with them for high school.**   
  
Huzzah, I'm going to update _There's a Jedi In My Closet!_ later because I think it's funny. Having Obi-Wan in your closet would be spiffy. I'd hug him and keep him, wouldn't you? I love you reviewers.   
  
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After time and time again of detentions and all those other bad things, the Chibis were ready to graduate. But it wasn't a _huge_ graduation but a simple grade nine farewell sort of thing where the grade nines were given some random thing -- a cross maybe? -- to carry with them through high school but seriously, who would do that?   
  
All the grade nine students of the local junior high school were all seated in the front of the gym, all in nice clothes with their parents sitting behind them. Anakin, Obi-Wan, Qui-Gon, Dooku, Maul, Luke, Yoda, and Windu were in their best robes -- ranging from light brown to black -- while Padme and Leia were in some nice dresses with their hair overdone and Fett, Han, Chewie, and Maul wore any random clothes they could find -- Chewie had been forced to wear clothes.   
  
The principle, Mr. Duck Fodge, walked up the stairs to the gym dressed in a nice suit with a smile upon his face. He walked up to the middle and cleared his throat, signaling everyone to simple shut up.   
  
Silence.   
  
"Welcome students and parents," he began, "to this wonderful occasion!"   
  
Maul snickered evilly, ignoring the glances from his peers.   
  
Mr Duck Fodge cleared his throat again and gave a short laugh. "These students have done many amazing things here like the car wash, the marathon dance, and donation of over two thousand dollars to charity!"   
  
The people clapped and cheered loudly.   
  
Sidious noticed a student sitting beside him, John, was blushing madly. He was Student Council President and John knew that lots of people were staring at him.   
  
"But enough of me, I'd like to call up our two valedictorians of the year 2003!" He stepped off the gym as two girls -- Britney and Cherry -- walked up the stairs in their overly-expensive dresses and stood in the middle before the microphone. A few boys whistled in the background -- followed by an 'OW!', thanks to Dooku -- causing the two blondes to blush and giggle.   
  
Britney began, "This was a great year, filled with lots of joy, tears, and laughter. We all had our ups and our downs but we learned a lot from this year of grade nine."   
  
Maul snickered again.   
  
Britney continued, "Everyone learned something unique about themselves and they all got to share it with the world."   
  
Cherry took over suddenly, "Now sure, we've had our large disagreements but we've learned to put them behind us and listen to each other. At the beginning of the year, we had two new students come into grade nine, not knowing anyone or anything about the school. We--"   
  
Britney cut in, "We all jumped right in and welcomed the two new students with open arms. We showed them what was what in the school and welcomed them both into our groups of friends. They both fit in perfectly and gave back to the school as a sign of thanks. In November, we went to a Winter Camp to get to know each other better and--"   
  
Cherry smirked and cut in, "And we learned thousands of things. We found that Marcus really had another side"--she winked--"and that Jessica was a really great mountain climber. Jamie beat everyone in the battle of wits while Jocelyn showed off her smarts in the trivia."   
  
"We swam in the lake and were attacked by leeches, driving us out of the lake," Britney said, ignoring the angry glance from Cherry. "Even though the leeches scared us half-to-death, we went right back in the next day and it was fine. We learned to face our fears at the Night Hide-and-Go-Seek we played in the woods just behind the camp ground. Sure, we thought we ran into the Blair Witch a few times--"   
  
"But we never found anything that could hurt us," Cherry finished.   
  
Suddenly, without any sort of warning, Britney lashed out at Cherry, tackling her.   
  
Everyone gasped at the sight.   
  
Cherry and Britney, best friends from the beginning, were attacking each other on the stage, pulling at hair and scratching viciously. Hissing sounds could be heard from each of the blondes.   
  
Someone yelled, "CAT FIGHT!"   
  
After a few minutes of the fighting, the gung-ho Chibis got onto the stage and pulled them away from each other. Cherry had thrown her arms around Obi-Wan (she was five foot two and he was ... three feet?) and cried while Britney complained to Han who simply nodded again and again.   
  
Sitting the two girls on opposite sides of the gym, the farewell continued.   
  
Each of the students went up in alphabetical order, receiving a cross from the principle. Each student shook his hand while Maul gave Mr. Duck Fodge a shocking shake.   
  
Everyone clapped as the students sat back down in their seats and watched as the principle stood at the middle of the stage once again. "I'd like to thank everyone for this amazing year; the students are great kids and they'll all do amazingly in whatever they chose to do. May you all go in peace an--"   
  
Before Mr. Duck Fodge could finish his sentence, there was a large explosion from the back of the stage, sending off fireworks everywhere.   
  
People screamed.   
  
People ran.   
  
People attacked each other to get out of the gym.   
  
People tripped and fell over their own feet.   
  
People swore.   
  
The Chibis all cast an accusing glance to Maul who was snickering madly, trying to control himself. Yes, Maul was back to be his old tattooed, explosion-liking and snickering self. They all shook their heads as as Mr. Duck Fodge ran by them with his hair on fire.   
  
Leia rubbed her head as Padme adjusted her hair. "You know, this is really fun but the only thing I'm worried about is grade twelve grad. You know, what'll Maul do then?" she asked, her head cocked to the side as the fireworks got louder but the Chibis didn't move.   
  
"The only thing I'm wondering about is will Maul have a date?" Fett scratched his head as they all glanced at the gleefully-dancing Maul.   
  
They all gave each other a 'he'll-never-get-a-girl' look and left him dancing happily in the gym which would soon be burned to the ground along with Maul -- probably. 


End file.
